Bathroom Door Ettiquette

So, I haven’t posted on my blog in a while and I’m not too happy about it. I realize it’s probably because I’ve been a little bit depressed. Normal stuff; Money problems, relationship problems, career problems, an overall sense of boredom with my life. You know, mid-life crisis things. Oh yeah, and a friend of mine killed himself recently. Still, it’s nothing that I’m too worried about. I mean, I’m not thinking of doing anything drastic, so there’s no need to talk me off a ledge or anything. I only bring it up because of one of the last things I told my buddy who commit suicide: “Buddy”, I said barely a week before he done the deed, “When you’re feeling like this one of the best things I’ve found is to channel your emotions into your writing. It will not only act as a type of therapy, but also help you accomplish something that you’ve wanted to do anyway!”

He didn’t take my advice.

But, I thought, hell, it would be pretty stupid of me not to take my own advice; especially since I feel it’s damned good advice.

The problem being that the reason I haven’t written in so long is lack of inspiration. Well, that’s a stupid reason. So, to get myself back on the horse I’ve decided to revert to the rant format I begun this blog with until the more creative stuff begins to flow again like it did the last time. There certainly isn’t a shortage of things in this wide world that piss me off. I just need to choose one. So, mundane as it may be, the first thing that came to mind after making the decision to write this was….

BATHROOM DOOR ETTIQUETTE

I know, it’s nothing the average person ever thinks about. I’m working in an office at the moment that is a converted house so the bathrooms are typical house bathrooms, not the industrial sort found in office buildings where there is no bathroom door ettiquette since those simply swing shut of their own accord and opening one wouldn’t cause anyone to need to quickly pull his pants up or cover her private bits.

So, here’s the deal: There are only four ways to leave a restroom when you’re finsihed with it and just one is correct. The four ways are: 1) Door open, light off 2)Door closed, light off 3) Door open, light on 4)Door closed, light on. Which is right? Number one, obviously! And I’ll explain why if you really need me to. It’s amazing to me how often I see the other three choices occur in my everyday life.

Let’s begin with number four shall we and work our way backward. Door closed, light on. This is the absolute worst and I can’t for the life of me figure out the logic of people who do this. First, it’s a waste of electricity to have a light on while a room is not in use. Second, it fools people who want to use the bathroom into believing someone is already inside! I mean, really, who wants to have to knock on the door and bother someone in the middle of taking a crap when you don’t have to. On the other hand who wants to be bothered while taking said crap. If everyone followed the rules, this little annoyance would be forever cut out of our lives.

Number three. Door open, light on. Well, if the door is open you immediately know if the room is in use or not. Again, a light on in an empty room is wasteful of electricity. I can sort of understand the concept if you’re having a party and you don’t want anyone stumbling into certain rooms while looking for the bathroom, but really, are your friends that stupid? No, don’t answer that! So, yes there are moments when it’s appropriate, but rarely.

Now to close the door when the light is off is still wrong. It forces a person to have to knock to find out if the room is occupied. A minor inconvienience to be sure, but if it’s not necessary at all… And I’ve already related the nuisance it is from the other side of the door. Or hey, maybe the person in the bathroom has his headphones on and can’t hear the knocking. Do you just barge in? Or if the door itself meets the floor or you have thick carpeting and can’t see if the light is on or off. Just too many damned variables that can cause embarrassment for all concerned.

And finally we have our savior, number one. When you’re through with the lavatory, switch off the light and depart the premises leaving the door WIDE open (not slightly ajar which can possibly be mistaken for closed). It’s the right thing to do for ALL the reasons listed above. Also please remember, that huge smelly crap we’ve so benevolently allowed you to take without bother, the foul scent of it dissipates far quicker if the room isn’t closed up!

Ok, yes, I know that was a ridiculous post you just spent the last 10 minutes reading. Hey, remember it was more for me then for you. Hopefully, they will get more entertaining. Oh yeah, and if you disagree with anything within the confines of this blog, please note that there isn’t even the most minute part of me that cares whatsoever.

So, until next time peoples!

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