Dead End Job

It all began when Bob got the position at Bryce-Stanley in the accounting department. It was a temp to hire job which meant that he’d be temporary for at least six months and then the company had the option to hire him permanently, keep him as a temp indefinitely, or get rid of him. At first Bob hoped he’d get hired on as the money and benefits were too good to pass up. However, Bob became increasingly uncomfortable as the days wore on. His boss, Mr. McCluster worked in another wing of the building and seemed to be the busiest man on the planet. In his first two weeks he’d seen the man three times for a total of ninety-six minutes. That wouldn’t be so bad if McCluster wasn’t the person in charge of his training. Unfortunately, he was, and thus, Bob never really learned to do the job he was hired for. So, he was left in the care of Mrs. Orphanim who had no use for him whatsoever. She pawned him off on her underling, Meg Wharbuckle, explaining that Bob should help out wherever she chose.

Bob was naturally a nervous sort. He only wanted to fit in, do his job, and go home. His previous place of employment at Dynogram had him doing billing for various accounts. Every day there would be a stack of files that needed his ministering and when he was finished with those there was always another stack waiting. He completed everything that was due by months end and then the whole cycle began again on the first of the following month. He always knew what was expected of him and had a wonderful routine that allowed for moments of free time whenever he deemed them necessary.

Unfortunately, he was let go due to cutbacks when the economy took it’s most distinct downturn in mid 2008. By the time he got the job at Bryce-Stanley, Bob was desperate for a paycheck and would take much discomfort to retain its steadiness.

That first week wasn’t too bad though as Meg Wharbuckle kept him fairly busy with some menial, but time consuming tasks. There was down time alright, but like most temps Bob had learned to look like he was working at every moment and this act did indeed take time to perform which made the days go by. During the second week even Meg Wharbuckle was too occupied to be bothered with creating tasks for Bob and his downtime expanded to most of the work day.

On Monday of the fourth week he knocked on Mrs. Orphanim’s door and spelled out his plight to her. She was sympathetic and informed him that she would speak with Mr. McCluster that very morning to create a resolution that would have him doing what he was hired to do that very day. By Wednesday Bob found himself still seated alone at his desk doing nothing but fighting the urge to surf the web. He allowed himself to succumb. Why not? He hated sitting around doing nothing and always being worried that someone would notice and be upset with him or get him in trouble. He decided he could catch up on some reading. As long as he kept the computers screen to text only with no pictures it would appear as if he were reading business files to the casual glancers.

But, what to read?

Bob had always been interested in physics; the study of matter and its motion through spacetime, but he’d never done anything toward advancing his knowledge on the subject. That weekend he’d watched a documentary on Quantum Mechanics and some of its theorists such as Heisenberg, Einstein, and of course, Max Planck, the founder of the quantum theory, which was why it was in his head that day. He made his choice and began tentatively with a Wikipedia look-up of physics. There was even a subreference that gave a more accessible less technical introduction to the subject. He read the article slowly certain that he would be stumped quickly and left frustrated. This was not the case as he discovered that he already knew and understood much of what was written on the page. He started scanning the linked articles that explained particular phrases in greater detail. By the end of the following week Bob had exhausted much of the Wikipedia resource. He had a solid base knowledge, but he’d pointedly stayed away from the actual mathematics involved. Just the thought of equations made his head spin, but after another week of browsing documents from various web sites and doing a little text chatting with some physics geeks on line Bob knew that if he wanted to delve any deeper he’d have to begin comprehending and using formulas.

If his original explorations in theory could be considered tentative, then his foray into mathematics was downright timid. There were so many x’s and y’s and z’s it was like the alphabet had gone rogue on him and was starting a language of its own, which in a way it was. Bob spent hours filling Word documents and Excel spreadsheets with algebraic functions, calculus, and advanced trigonometric equations.

He didn’t always understand all the numbers he drew up, but his base in accounting along with the many hours of studying he put in while bored at work allowed him to figure out much more then he ever dreamed he'd be able to.

At the four month mark of his tenure with Bryce-Stanley he received an email from Mrs. Orphanim stating that the company was very pleased with his performance thus far and wanted to make him a permanent hire. Would he accept a job at terms that completely blew him away? If he agreed, Bob would be making more money then he’d ever made in his life by far, and the salary he’d been taking home at Dynogram was nothing to sneeze at. It was a no-brainer and without ever speaking a single word to any of his superiors Bob found waiting at his desk the following morning his key to the executive washroom as well as various insurance forms, disclosures, and other paperwork to fill out.

He was thrilled with the hour or so of reading and signing before it was back to the grind of quantum physics.

Bob had transformed his tiny cubicle into a miniature classroom slash laboratory. He’d begun some small experiments the previous week and was considering striking out a little further. He’d done some tinkering on a prototype for a laser that would do nothing more then bend and hone a beam of light. With the primitive instruments he had at his disposal and what he was certain must be his own flawed formulas, Bob didn’t hold out much hope that his laser would cut through the apple he was using as his test object, but that was ok. In fact, he figured none of his experiments would ever meet with success. But, the great thing about physics as far as Bob was concerned was that when one encountered a setback it was normally due to an error in the math. With enough time and a fine enough comb those troubles could be weeded out. Since it was the weeding process that Bob enjoyed anyway, it was a win-win situation.

And so it was with a whimsical sense that Bob flipped the switch on the little lamp he brought with him to work that day. The beam of light it created was directed by specifically placed mirrors and forced through different mediums such as water and mercury Bob had gotten from a broken thermometer. There was a lot more to it then that, but everything was mocked up since he didn’t have access to tools and chemicals that a real scientist had. He always sighed when on the subject. What he wouldn’t give to have a particle accelerator in his cubicle.

After only a few seconds he switched off the light and gazed at his apple. It didn’t look any different. There certainly was no hole cut through its center as he might have hoped. Wait; there was a small black mark in the exact middle of the spot where the beam had struck. Bob rubbed it with his thumb. It didn’t rub off. He honestly couldn’t recall if it had been there previous to his experiment and it was SO tiny. Bob thought for a moment and then turned the fruit over to check out the other side. Yes, there was an identical spot. He needed a magnifying glass and pronto! Yet, there was none to be had at Bryce-Stanley. So Bob left work early without asking permission and picked one up on his way home. It was so diminutive that he couldn’t even be sure with the magnifying glass so he cut a small piece of the skin off and put it under a microscope. What he found was that it was indeed a hole!

Bob couldn’t believe it. He was ecstatic for the rest of the day and had trouble sleeping that night since his mind raced with thoughts of more intricate experiments he would attempt. He was now a bona fide quantum mechanic!

The next day he overslept almost an entire hour sleeping right through his alarm. He showed up late for work for the first time since he’d begun the job. He sat down in his office chair and glanced around nervously. Apparently, no one had noticed his tardiness. After a few more moments of apprehension he settled into his daily routine.

He kept his work journal at the office and he spent his early morning hours writing about his success of the previous day. He made notations on even the most trivial of details and took pictures with his digital camera which he then plugged into his computer and uploaded. The plan was to print them out with the color printer in the copy room and staple then into his notebook to illustrate his jottings. But, first he toyed with the shots, cropping and lightening or darkening where necessary.

It was on the photo of the mirror he’d placed on the wall behind the apple that he noticed the black spot. At first he thought it was an anomaly of the light in the room or perhaps the reflection of something in the mirror itself. It never even occurred to him to check the actual mirror which still hung in the spot he’d placed it to reflect back his laser beam so that if it did work, it wouldn’t cut a hole through the wall of his cubicle. It was tilted toward yet another mirror so the beam would be trapped between the two until it was shut off, however the picture of the final mirror showed no spot.

That was when Bob switched his gaze to the actual piece of glass. There was indeed a black spot on it that was not a reflection of anything at all. It was a hole. It was significantly larger then the one in the apple and measured perhaps a full millimeter in diameter. Bob’s face went white. He stood slowly and exited his cubicle to assess the damage. He expected to see a hole on the outer wall as well as one in the wall across the hallway. But, there was none. Relieved, he returned to the mirror and took it off the wall. This area was also unscathed. Excellent! He turned the reflective glass over. The back was undamaged as well. Now that was strange. He placed the piece on his desk and gave it a closer inspection.

There was a strange tugging sensation coming from the black fissure. It was strong. Bob felt it pulling at his finger, sucking it toward the mirror. He grabbed a pen and pushed the tip into the opening. The suction jerked it inside. Bob held the mirror upside down and released his grip on the pen. The suction held it firmly against the mirror. He pulled the pieces apart. The tip of the pen had vanished inside the crack in the mirror. Bob looked inside the hole as best he could, but it was darkest night in there.

He returned the mirror to the desk and backed away. The thought coursing through his head was too insane to remain in there. Had he created a miniature black hole?
He immediately darted to the computer and read up on everything he could find about black holes. He became so involved in his research that he totally forgot about the one that might be on his desk until an annoying noise broke him from his studying reverie. It sounded like a really loud air conditioner. It turned out to be the hole in the mirror. It had more then doubled in size and the noise was the sound of the suction it was creating.

Bob took the tipless pen and fed it directly into the crack. It fit now and Bob watched as inch after inch of its length disappeared into the mirror until his fingers were close enough he feared the suction might draw them in too. He released his grip on the pen and poof! It was gone.

Suddenly scared, Bob turned the mirror over on the desk and left the office. He went home and took a long hot shower so he could clear his mind and think.

The decision he came to was that he didn’t want to go back to work…

He didn’t have to worry about finding a new job for long. It only took three days before the news reports began airing on TV about the huge black hole that had been discovered in the accounting department of Bryce-Stanley that was sucking everything into it with such force that the safety zone had already expanded to two an a half miles away from its center. Worse, it was growing at an alarming rate. Scientists had already deduced that at its current pace the black hole would swallow the entire Earth in less then a month.

The world wide panic had begun that day, but Bob had already numbed himself to this news. His apartment was close enough to Bryce Stanley that it had already been evacuated. Bob had stayed behind. He expected to discover what was on the other side of a black hole in just a little while. The problem was, that if his math correct, and it had been thus far, he already knew what to expect.

Bob always loved hot fudge sundaes. He had determined that he wanted to have one as his last meal. Luckily he had all the ingredients in the fridge. He especially loved when it melted and he spooned liquidy goodness up. By then he had to hurry since the black hole was sucking it down even faster then he was.

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