The Office Air Conditioner, or Stupid People Abound!

Now, I know from experience that rarely if ever is everyone happy with the temperature in any given room. I grew up in South Florida; the hottest, muggiest, most insect ridden swatch of swampland outside of a rainforest. I was ALWAYS hot. The fact that my folks were ALWAYS cold and kept the thermostat at a sweltering (to me at least) 78 degrees all year round (except when the bastards opened the windows to my undying hatred) helped to give me a very unhappy childhood (temperature-wise at least). Still, it didn’t matter if the air was on and everyone around me was cold. I became a master at finding available objects to make fans out of and if you spotted me I was invariably fanning myself with one of them.

So, naturally I expect whatever office I work at to be difficult environment for me to be comfortable in. I have a simple theory about keeping it cold in public places and it goes something like this: If it’s too cold for you, put on more clothes. If it’s too warm, there are only so many clothes you can take off. Right?

The office I work in is actually a converted duplex. When the weather was chillier a few months ago, I had no problems. However, of late, as we enter the dog days of August I’ve been wanting to peel my skin off to stay cool. The average day is something like: When I arrive in the morning it’s usually somewhat cool outside, though it’s already too warm inside for me. The front door is wide open and sometimes the metal screen door is shut, sometimes it’s not. I mention this because we have such a horrible time with flies in the office it pisses me off to no end that people can’t keep the damned screen shut. Seriously, the folks I work with must have been raised in barn! Anyway, as the sun creep higher in the sky and things heat up, someone (usually either Duckface or I) flips on the A/C and shut the front door. It immediately becomes rather Arctic and everyone complains. I will often times raise the thermostat a few degrees to appease everyone, but every time I look it’s lowered back to a bone-chilling 70 degrees.

Now, I simply put on my jacket and am fine, but others will do stupid things like, prop the front door open even though the heat from outside, while intense, will not reach anyone’s desk enough for him or her to feel it. And then, of course, the rooms are buzzing with flies. The Filipino chick who sits in the main room is shivering in her mini-dress and mumbling how cold it is. It’s been this way for about 6 weeks and I’m guessing it’ll stay like this for at least another 6 before the weather changes outside. But, she’s pretty steadfast about wearing skimpy clothes and sandals and NOT bringing a jacket or sweater to work.

So, I go into the other room where Duckface sits with my boss, a really cool Armenian woman with the beautiful name of Ripsime (which of course no one can pronounce so she’s solely called Rita at work). I’m wearing a jacket and have to remove it immediately because it’s crazy hot in there. I mention this and they both complain about how warm it is. Now how is this possible? It’s one A/C unit supplying conditioned air to all 3 rooms in the office. Well, I go poking around a bit and discover that their vent is almost completely closed! There’s barely a trickle of wind puffing out and it’s aimed directly toward the ground. When I inform them and offer to open it they both scream, “No! It’ll get too cold!”. It seems they hate the cold. Of course, I don’t have to open the vent all the way and a happy medium COULD be achieved, but apparently they’re not open to this.

Then I find out it’s Duckface who keeps cranking the thermostat down! I don’t even have words to relate…

So, in the end, I’m the only one who enjoys the temperature at work. When it’s too hot in the morning I flip on the air (or Duckface does it first) and when it’s too cold for me I put on my jacket. Everyone else complains most of the day and I really have no sympathy because one main rule that I abide by has always been: STUPID PEOPLE DON’T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

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